Skaffs thoughts

I saw her, she was reading, a nice girl…i mean woman. She was sitting by a fountain, beautiful… then BOOM, people start coming in from the wall. Then CRASH, Burk and sons window is broken, and the girl comes over, as I see her face, and I was dumb-founded… then she whips out this fire and shit and I was like DAMN SHE A CRAZY BITCH! then I this guy…Well, this guys is tall, i feel like i keep talking to his crotch, but he knows his ale, so he is not that bad. I got a ring that I can brand people with, then we get on an adventure, this bunny chick is freaking out… I almost got killed by a tree, and got a code and the tall dude killed himself, dumb-ass…

Karl's Thoughts #1

Huh, this is damn good ale. WTF, was that an explosion?! OMG, the castle gate’s been destroyed! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to one-hit-kill you guys like that. Ha, Nugget was only in the brothel for like 30 seconds, must be quick on the draw. Nice of Burkeson Burkesson to give us some rewards for helping him not get robbed and die (RIP Burke). Really hope this ring comes in handy. Got it, kill lots and lots of goblins, get paid, and…something else I can’t remember, but hey how important could it be? Screw that, I’m not gambling with this guy, he sounds shady. Ha, nugget got gypped. Pleasant day for a walk through the countryside. Hey, there’s a sign on this rock, I think there’s treasure around here somewhere. For Pete’s sake, just open the box already. Shit, that one thing was important. Huh, why’s there random magic water around those trees? And why was jumping over the water so hard? And am I breathing? NO!!! CUT THE VINES! Ummm…is that a corgie? Hey come back here, I wanted to pet the cooorgieee! Ok we’re finally here (miraculously). So, you’re telling me that you went IN the ruins while scouting AROUND the ruins? Wow, that was easy, goblins are kinda blind. WTF is this supposed to say already?! Alright it’s getting harder now. Nugget you look kinda singed there, buddy. Goodbye my beautiful gold coin, your sacrifice will be remembered (single perfect tear). AM I SUPPOSED TO JIGGLE THE DUDE’S JAW OR WHAT CUZ THIS IS GETTING FUCKING RIDICULOUS?!!! Thank god we finally figured that shit out, I was about ready to throw myself on my sword. Interesting tomb you have here, sir. Ooh and interesting crown, too. Don’t mind if I do—SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!! Holy crap I’m alive! (And feeling less heroic all of a sudden.) Fin.


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