Hello, I’m Lelahii Vatra and I’ll be your heroine today.
So there I was, reading a lovely book about geodes and their magical properties that I’d…borrowed from Burke and Son’s magic shop. Did you know that rose quartz stones are said to have healing properties? Pretty neato. Anyways then Burke runs out yelling he was robbed. That’s my cue to…return that book I borrowed. Let it never be said I am a thief. But then Burke was in two pieces and some dwarf was there and there was another guy and they were fighting. Looks like the guy hasn’t been eating enough fruit lately so I teach him a lesson by giving him advanced scurvy. That’s always a fun one. There’s also. Guy on a roof shooting at the dwarf and since I figure there’s no way that lil munchkin would never be able to reach him, i send some fireballs his way. The end for him. Also for the guy he fell on. Oops. THAT guy has this cool gem though so i took it. Had Burke’s son appraise it and it turns out it’s a crazy dream eater thingy which is coolio. Except now there’s these other guys, well, theres this guy and this bunny but whatever. Burkes son gives us stuff for returning the dreater (dream eater but a cooler name) and i get this ring for undead stuff. Probably not useful but it looks cool. Except the small one got a ring that brands stuff and he wont stop branding everything he walks past so that’s irksome. And now they’re saying we’re a team or something so that’s a thing i guess. I hear my owl rustling in my bag so I tell it to shush. Big guy finds a sign about killing goblins for money so we’re off to the barracks to talk to the hammer guy. Soon enough we’re off to the woods, laden with cake mix. Wait thats just me. Anyways we’re sleeping in the woods, which is cool with me. I found a cozy cedar tree to sleep in. The dwarf wakes us up though and knocks over a tent when he shoves his face through it in his effort to get out. Dwarves. My owl couldve seen the goblins before the dwarf if he weren’t in my bag still. There’s only a few goblins and we kill them. Nbd. Back to sleep. The next day we find a couple o trees inside of a whirlpool river thing. Not suspicious at all. The ‘men’ spend a while trying to get to the island. Me and the bunny climb some trees. The trees move. Noone seems to care. Now we’re all hanging. Stupid trees. Its like a hydra tree. Cut one vine and two more replace it. And least in my case. Stupid trees. Thankfully a large corgi and a small man show uo and heal us and kill the trees. Stupid trees. Bye corgi and small man. If only we’d asked him to join us. I coulda had a corgi friend. Back to business, we find the temple and send the bunny to scout around. Could’ve sent my owl. But oh well. We see her go in the temple. That was not the plan. Its fine though and theres only four goblins inside though the bunny said she saw five. Weird. But we kill them no prob. The ‘men’ decide to walk doen the ominous hallway. The bunny and i pass. Theres some codes and messages and riddles and the dwarf nearly kills himself being dumb. Then we put gold in a brazier and theres some magic and codes and messages. And then we spend like two hours jiggling the jaw of this stupid statue, with varying intensity and angles. To no avail. But we decode the riddles and figure it out and get this spinning key thats oddly enjoyable to play with. We find a SECRET TUNNELLLLL … well it’s a secret room anyways. Theres dead people in boxes. We take their stuff. Including a crown that we know is magical. Not foreboding at all. Just everyday stuff, taking an enchanted crown from a tomb. The obvious thing to do is to put it on your head right? Well that’s what the tall one did. And he died. But then he didn’t. Stupid tall one. Hush small owl. Maybe next time you may come out of your satchel. Enjoy your cake mix.